Without on Mother’s Day

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It’s been a day of contemplation and reflection.

It’s Mother’s Day and I’m pondering the meaning of the day.

My day job puts me in contact with some amazing families. The root of those families, and the core, the heart, the literal birthplace, of those families is the mothers.  These are women who seem to take naturally to parenting. They are brimming with love and patience, kindness, wisdom, and dedication to their offspring. These are women I admire. I spent a larger part of yesterday with a small group of these moms. Witnessing their maternal talents left me reeling with gratitude. I am so very grateful to be in the orbit of women who care for their children with such love and respect.

My own loving mother is dead. She took her exit several years ago and, while the sting of her parting has been numbed by time, there are certain days that I am overwhelmed by her absence:  Mother’s Day, her birthday, my birthday, and Thanksgiving. I’m certainly not the only one here without a mom, and I do have a most lovely mother-in-law, but missing my mom on those special days facilitates a feeling of isolation and loneliness that raises an unusual amount of tears and melancholy.

On this day when I want to celebrate the moms I do know, but with my own mother absent, I don’t know that I can be sincere about celebrating. I suppose I could rejoice in her memory but it’s like looking into a mirror when the angle is all wrong.  I look into the image and see so much beauty but there’s not even a hint of me (what’s left of my mother here on earth) to be found in that image.  I see something I appreciate profoundly but it’s still not the image that I need to see.

I’ll never be able to see directly into that image again, it’s time to accept that. You know, the Buddhist saying, “the cup is broken?” The cup is indeed broken and perhaps it’s time to find a new cup rather than go on about the loss of something that’s already gone, can’t and won’t, come back. So, here’s to all of the mom’s I know (my new cups) who are unknowingly filling my void with the love they shower on their children. That love is so big and strong it beams right over and fills my view today with a gracious scene of how the world can be. It’s not my mom, but it’s here now, and it’s beautiful.

Happy Mother’s Day to you all.

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3 thoughts on “Without on Mother’s Day

  1. I hope you had a lovely Mother’s Day and you did not miss your Mom too much. You must have had a strong bond with her, and perhaps this could provide some consolation because I think it is quite special.

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